phapulous

Living life being phapulously me!!

Good Steward October 21, 2012

I have done a lot of thinking about life and how in life we always seek and want more.  We search and work ourselves to near exhausting in pursuit of the next best thing we have to get.  Whether it’s your dream job, car, or house, it seems our mindset is always on more.  Don’t get me wrong there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more.  However in that pursuit of more, do we take the time to appreciate what we have in our current state.  This got me to thinking of what it means to be a good steward.  All my life I was taught to take care and cherish what you have no matter how big or small because it was all a gift from God.  This included anything from the food we ate to the bus driver that used to take us to school.
Fast forward 20 years and sad to say that teaching is still with me but not exercised as much as it should.  There are many things I want for myself in life.  Yes I want more and I will admit that wanting more sometimes causes me to neglect to cherish the here and now.

During my hiatus I had time to really evaluate and found that I was not a very good steward of the things I am blessed with.  I found myself always focusing and praying for more but never really taking the time like I should to thank God for the here and now with the exception of my family and health.  I never took the time to be appreciative of the fact that during this tough time I have a job that I am able to go to everyday.  In fact whether it’s my dream job or not  I should still  smile when I go there because that is a blessing.  I have a car that is reliable and gets me anywhere I need to go.  But rather than being thankful that I do not have a car payment, I am lured by all the new gizmos and gadgets on the newer models.  So I neglect to keep my exterior washed and may go 100 or 200 miles over my normal oil change/maintenance.  Again not a good steward.
I had to sit and have a long conversation with God to get to the bottom of this and the answer was very simple and crystal clear.  In order to be blessed I have to be a good steward over the gifts I have now and also bless others with  my gifts.  Each and everything we have comes from a blessing and it is our duty to share and pass the blessings forward.  This will give God glory.  I had to take the focus off of me and what I thought I needed, and in turn manage what I have to the best of my ability to help others and in turn glorify God.

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Friendship May 20, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 7:40 pm
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I came across this poem that perfectly sums up my friendships and thought I would share.  Hope you enjoy! 🙂

 

A friend is like a flower, a rose to be exact, Or maybe like a brand new gate that never comes unlatched.

A friend is like an owl, both beautiful and wise.

Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, whose spirit never dies.

 A friend is like a heart that goes strong until the end.

 Where would we be in this world if we didn’t have a friend. – By Adrianne S

 

Forgive and Forget?? May 16, 2012

We often hear the phrase “forgive and forget”.   This got me wondering how many of us truly do this?  How many truly forget a painful and awful act caused by a loved one?  A lot of times we are able to forgive someone of their actions because after all we are only human right.  I just wonder how many of us truly forget the painful act.  Can we forgive someone without forgetting? Or is that not really forgiving if we keep the memory of the hurt etched in our minds?  This got me to thinking of myself.  For a long time I thought I had forgiven this one individual for hurting me emotionally and not acknowledging their actions.  I confronted this person about how I was feeling, and they gave a haphazard apology.  I let them know that I felt the apology was not sincere, but I would accept it.  I thought that was it.  I should have been immediately cured of my emotional pain right?  Boy was I DEAD wrong!!  Even though I forgave the individual, every time I heard their name my skin would crawl.  My mind would immediately take me back to the pain this person caused me.

Then one day I had an epiphany and asked myself what good does it do me to hang on to a memory that causes me to become upset?  After all I am sure the person who offended me had moved on.  I claimed I had by forgiving, but why was I still kept in bondage by holding on to  the memory?  This was tough for me to grasp.  I mean let’s face it, I allowed another individual  power over me.  It is funny now that I think about it because I was walking around holding on to memories and I was far from a memory in their mind.  How did I let myself get so caught up in the offense that it allowed me to remain stagnant?  After all I HAD forgiven them right?  Wrong!!  To me a part of forgiving is also allowing yourself to let the memory of the offense fade into the distance.  It is working for me so far, however notice I said fade.  Which means the actions are still in the back of my mind reminding me of how far I can go with and what to expect from that individual.  It is truly a process, but each day is better than the day before.

I am curious to know your thoughts on whether it is realistic to forgive and forget???

 

Happiness May 7, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 9:58 pm
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Happiness

Like the birds sing a sweet song.

 Like the rivers strum a lovely tune.

 Like the stars serenade the moon.

Like flowers look so pretty in June.

Like water makes violets grow.

Like winter brings flaky snow.

 This true and no jest. Love is the blueprint for happiness.

by Lamar Cole

 

Buyers Remorse? April 30, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 9:43 am
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You know the feeling you get after you made a splurge of a purchase.  You feel knots in your stomach and anxiety all over for doing something you know you should not have.  But you just had to have it.  You know what I’m talking about, that new Chanel bag or that new tech gadget.  Of course it was not a necessity, but something inside you just had to have it.  The rational side of you told yourself to run, not walk away as fast as you can.  However the impulsive side of you keeps you circling that prized possession you have to conquer.  You have an internal debate and impulse wins over and you make the purchase for this thing you absolutely do not need.  On the drive home it sinks in-buyers remorse.  You feel bad about being so impulsive and irresponsible.  You chastise yourself and promise to return the thing first thing tomorrow.

This got me to thinking if buyer’s remorse applied to more than purchases of the local fads.  Do we make impulsive decisions that impact us forever.  Do we impulsively jump into a relationship just to be in one, even though that little voice inside is saying slow down?  Only to find out a few weeks or months later that this person was not really what you expected.  The same can be applied to our professional lives.  Do you rush to take a job for the money even though deep inside you know it will not be fulfilling?  You then feel trapped or stuck because the big bucks you make have caused you to be more impulsive in purchasing things.  So you have to remain trapped to nurture your impulsive habits.

I have reflected over some of the decisions that I have made in my life.  I can honestly say the majority of the “good” outcomes came from well thought out decisions.  Most of my impulsive choices resulted in disastrous results.  Those disastrous results came with very valuable lessons that I have kept and applied to my life.  However as I get older and hopefully wiser, I am learning to keep a tight reign on the impulsive tug inside me.  But sometimes I wonder if the reign is so tight that I am becoming dull and boring.  Can you still be fun and rational?

 

Choices April 22, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 4:04 pm
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Today is a day of bleh…I am feeling all kinds of things and this poem by the great Nikki Giovvani sums my mood up perfectly.

CHOICES

If i can’t do what i want to do then my job is to not do what i don’t want to do

It’s not the same thing but it’s the best i can do

If i can’t have what i want . . . then my job is to want what i’ve got and be satisfied that at least there is something more to want

Since i can’t go where i need to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point through always understanding parallel movement
isn’t lateral

When i can’t express what i really feel i practice feeling
what i can express and none of it is equal

I know but that’s why mankind alone among the animals learns to cry

Written by Nikki Giovanni

 

Where is the Love? April 17, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 6:57 pm
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I came across this on one of my friends Facebook page and wanted to share. I really enjoyed the M&M analogy

“I don’t understand hate and prejudice just like I don’t understand why some people are biased against and pretend to not like certain colors of M&Ms.  It’s all in your head because they all taste exactly the same; and regardless of the color of their shell, they all look just alike on the inside too.
 If you don’t believe either is true, wash the color off a pack before eating them or wear a blind fold while eating them and see if you know what color it is you are eating.  I’ll buy the M&Ms, set up the experiment and record the data for you. . .
  All people were created in God’s image. We all require a heart, a brain, lungs, blood,etc.  Inside we are pretty much all the same. If you don’t believe me ask a doctor.   Better yet, ask any surgeon if he/she is handed a heart to put into a transplant recipient if he/she can tell the color of the person it came from just by looking at it. . . 
Prejudice and bias start and cultivate in the mind.   If you don’t like a particular person because they did something to you, fine.   But how do you hate an entire subset of people who you don’t even know or have ever had any dealings with previously?  
 We have all had bad experiences with people of various backgrounds, but do we begin to hate all teachers, police officers, relatives, doctors, friends, classmates b/c of a bad experience with one?   So explain hating an even more generalized subset of people. . .
 People are like M&Ms. We were made to be a little soft and sweet on the inside and some of us can be nutty too, but we are born fundamentally all the same.   Remember, although our personalities may be Skittles, we as people are M&Ms.” ~Nyke