phapulous

Living life being phapulously me!!

Friendship May 20, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 7:40 pm
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I came across this poem that perfectly sums up my friendships and thought I would share.¬† Hope you enjoy! ūüôā

 

A friend is like a flower, a rose to be exact, Or maybe like a brand new gate that never comes unlatched.

A friend is like an owl, both beautiful and wise.

Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, whose spirit never dies.

 A friend is like a heart that goes strong until the end.

¬†Where would we be in this world if we didn’t have a friend. – By Adrianne S

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Happiness May 7, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 9:58 pm
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Happiness

Like the birds sing a sweet song.

 Like the rivers strum a lovely tune.

 Like the stars serenade the moon.

Like flowers look so pretty in June.

Like water makes violets grow.

Like winter brings flaky snow.

 This true and no jest. Love is the blueprint for happiness.

by Lamar Cole

 

The Beauty of a Woman April 29, 2012

Filed under: Inspire Me — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 12:40 pm
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The Beauty of a Woman

The beauty of a woman
Is not in the  clothes she wears,
The figure that she carries,
Or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes,
Because that is the doorway to her heart,
The place where love resides.
The beauty  of a woman is not in a facial mole
But true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul.

It is the caring that she lovingly gives,
The passion that she shows,
And the beauty of a woman
With passing years only grows!

– ‚Äď – written by Teresa¬† Mahieu

 

Moments of Pleasure April 13, 2012

Filed under: Inspire Me — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 5:36 pm
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Moments of Pleasure

baby coos

island sunsets

laughing children

long hugs

lazy days

walks in the park

making someones day with a kind thought and word

running in the rain

dancing to my own beat

pineapples

walking barefoot in the sand

a good love story

holding hands

looks of longing

falling asleep in the arms of the one you love

Smiles that tell me I’m loved

Letting people know they are appreciated by me

Just a few things that give me moments of pleasure

~P.H.A.P. ūüôā

 

When Jealously Rears Its Ugly Head April 3, 2012

Filed under: Self Centered — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 6:16 pm
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‚ÄúWhy compare yourself with others? No one in the entire world can do a better job of being you than you.‚ÄĚ ~Unknown

A few of my friends (Cara, Jill, Lisa)¬†and I went out to dinner.¬† Cara brought along her coworker Meg.¬†We were out to celebrate Lisa’s big promotion!! ¬†As we were catching up and sharing stories, Meg was very surprised and intrigued by the genuine excitement and happiness we shared with each personal success shared.¬† She could not believe that we were very vested and sincerely delighted in each others accomplishments.¬† She then asked how can we be so excited and not jealous of each other.

Jealously..the Green Eyed Monster.¬† We have all been victim to its cunning ways.¬† We want to be happy for our newly engaged friend but secretly we are wondering why her not me.¬† We¬†pretend we are happy for the promotion our coworker received but really¬†we are wishing they¬†fail so we can step in line.¬†¬† Why do we feel the need to compare ourselves to others?¬† Why can’t we be happy being our wonderful self?

We have all been¬†affected by the jealously bug.¬† Jealously is an emotion that has been around for a very LONG time….. circa Cain and Abel.¬†¬†It can sometimes be a reminder of all the experiences you have not had, relationships you want, or successes that seem out of reach.¬† It can cause you to feel “less than” and effect your self-esteem.

As we pondered Meg’s question,¬†¬†Jill was the first one to admit¬†that¬†she had a¬†flutter of jealously¬†once or twice¬†over the years of our friendship.¬† We all eventually admitted to having some jealous feelings a time or two.¬†¬†This then energized us to explore this jealously thing.¬† We were determined to get to the bottom of why we (women) get jealous and how we can overcome those feelings.¬† Let’s face it, women can get pretty jealous.¬† After a lengthy and candid discussion over dinner we narrowed the causes of jealously into three categories:

1.  INSECURITY.  It is very easy to look at people and wish you had what they have even though we are only seeing an outward display or shell.  We have no idea what that person has done or has gone through to get what they have.  Yet we berate and think negatively of ourselves and form insecurities because of this.  This is then carried into the relationships we form.

2.¬†¬†LOOMING EXPECTATIONS.¬† Let’s face it, we sometimes put unrealistic expectations on ourselves.¬† Naturally we feel that some things should come easily to us.¬† We then get disappointed when things do not happen for us as it does for the next person.¬† Enter the green headed monster.

3.  ENTITLED. We all for whatever reason have a sense of entitlement.  We have this idea that something is owed to us.  Things should just come natural to us.

Does any of this sound familiar?¬†¬†I will be honest some of this resonated with me.¬† I have experienced one of those feelings during my life.¬† Ok so back to the story….

We all admitted that our jealous feelings in the past had absolutely nothing to do with each other, but really about something internal that needed to be resolved.  After we diagnosed the causes it was only fitting to discuss solutions we implemented separately to cope and tackle jealously and envy head on.  After all what good is stating an issue without providing a solution.  So as we ordered dessert, we began discussing our envy busters and here they are in no particular order:

1.  STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS.  There is no need.  You are uniquely created to be you, and no one is better at being you than you!  If you feel the need to compare yourself the best person to compare to is yourself.  Take an inventory of how you have grown as a person, your future goals, and what it takes to get there.

2.¬† TACKLE THE THREAT.¬† Find out why you feel threatened.¬† Are you afraid you will lose something?¬† What are you insecure about?¬† Once you identify that “thing”, make a plan to tackle it and overcome it.

3.¬† LOVE YOURSELF– Self love and appreciation can be a boost to your self-esteem.¬† It can also help you to focus on you and not the person or thing you are jealous of.¬† Remember ‚ÄúIf you don‚Äôt fully accept and love yourself as you are, you could be more prone to comparing yourself to others as a way of artificially boosting your feeling of self-worth.‚Ä̬†‚ÄĒ Steve Pavlina

4. SHIFT FOCUSРStop worrying about you all the time.  Spend sometime helping others.  You will get satisfaction out of helping another person and that will boost your esteem.   Focus on your gifts and qualities that make you special.

 How do you handle envy and jealously?  Share your thoughts and experiences.

 

Shoulda,Coulda,Would you?? March 31, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 8:02 pm
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I often hear people say if I had to do it again I would do (insert thought) and I begin wondering if you could do it all again would you???¬† There are a lot of things we see other people do and we often say if I was younger, slimmer, richer, or smarter I would (again insert comment here).¬† This got me to wondering why people always assume that when you get a certain age or status you cannot do things you dreamt.¬† Who says you can’t open that¬† business you’ve always wanted to try?¬† Why don’t you take that high school or college course you are afraid to take?¬† Why don’t you just go for it and see what happens?¬† What stops us from doing the things our heart truly desires?¬† Are we that conditioned to think that dreams do not come true for the ordinary average person?¬†¬† What’s stopping you from your greatness??¬† For a long time my hinderance was fear.¬† At the time I didn’t know that my fear was masked with tons of excuses of why I should wait to live my dreams.¬† Then one day I had my aha moment and realized it was me, myself, and I stopping me from living. Seriously…what am I trying to prove???¬† That I’m better, stronger, more responsible than the people having fun?!?!?¬† I had to tell myself to get real.¬† When I got real I discovered quite a few intersting things about myself.¬†¬† I am divinely made with purpose and it is up to me to step into and embrace all this “p.h.a.p.ulousness”¬† (YES¬† I made it up) That’s my motto.¬† I am P.H.A.P.ulous…that is Pretty Haute and Powerful!!!!¬† Basically I am have turned my shoulda, woulda, coulda to shoulda, coulda, would you? into Show Nuff, Can Do and Watch ME!!!

Until the next time,

P.H.A.P.-ulously me ūüôā