phapulous

Living life being phapulously me!!

feelings January 14, 2013

Filed under: Self Centered — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 1:18 pm
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I just had to release these feelings and emotions and the best way I can think of is to write them down. Life happens and if we are not careful we will find ourselves watching instead of living. We are faced with many challenges and victories as we march along in our life path. Friends come and go, familes grow and shrink, jobs come and go. Love and loss is inevitable.

My heart is very heavy as I grieve for a friend that suddenly lost her mother unexpectedly. Grief is one thing that we all will experience at some point in our life. We all process and handle it differently. What do you say? How can you console someone in tremedous pain? The natural thing is to try to relate to their pain by remembering a loss you experienced. This is human nature. We like to identify with the emotions of others in order to better relate. What I have learned that during times of sympathy of dear friends loved one, the best thing I can do is just be there. Be there to listen, hold a hand, wash a dish, cook a meal, say a prayer, or silently stand with that person so they know that they are not alone.

 

New Years Resolution…oh never mind January 3, 2013

Every year since I can remember the new year would come with me setting high and lofty resolutions. This year I will lose 20 pounds, I will not eat out, I will work out 6 days a week, watch less tv, and I will blah, blah, blah. Don’t get me wrong resolutions like goals are great when you set them realistically. The challenge I faced was setting unrealistic goals. By setting those goals, I would then get discouraged when I could not meet them. Instead of re-evaluating I would get frustrated and just quit altogether. Well this year is different ūüôā I know you are thinking we have heard this before.

My personal goals are very simple and attainable.

1. Everyday chose to do something that increases my overall health and life.
2. Make a list of things I want to try and do one thing a month.
3. Be realistic with expectations
4. Take at least 1 hour a day to do something I like
5. Share and spread Love everywhere I go
6. Keep it simple

Very simple and things I am sure I can keep. If not, I will repeat number 3. ūüėČ

 

The beauty of reflection December 31, 2012

Filed under: Inspire Me — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 10:31 pm
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As we close out 2012, I took a moment to reflect on my  2012.  I can say that this year has been very much a rollercoaster of emotions.  I have experienced great joy and tremendous pain.  Both personal loss and personal gain. Some relationships blossomed while others were strained.  Despite it my love for family and the goodness in people remains. My perserverance was battle tested and sometimes wounded to the point of surrender.  However everytime I was ready to waive the right flag the right person, place, or thing would appear and assure me that I would make it through.  I have had the opportunity to learn a lot about myself. What my emotions are during my high times as well as low times.   I have learned who my inner circle consists of and I am okay with that.  I understand that just because you are a friend to some does not mean they are a friend back- and that was okay.  I understood where they were and chose to either meet them on their level or I left them alone.  I have learned to show more empathy without letting that blind me from the true person.  Overall I am very thankful for the growth and the tests.  Without them I would not have a story or testimony to share with others.  Be safe out there tonight and bring in 2013 with love, peace, and joy in you hearts!!

 

Good Steward October 21, 2012

I have done a lot of thinking about life and how in life we always seek and want more.¬† We search and work ourselves to near exhausting in pursuit of the next best thing we have to get.¬† Whether it’s your dream job, car, or house, it seems our mindset is always on more.¬† Don’t get me wrong there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more.¬† However in that pursuit of more, do we take the time to appreciate what we have in our current state.¬† This got me to thinking of what it means to be a good steward.¬† All my life I was taught to take care and cherish what you have no matter how big or small because it was all a gift from God.¬† This included anything from the food we ate to the bus driver that used to take us to school.
Fast forward 20 years and sad to say that teaching is still with me but not exercised as much as it should.  There are many things I want for myself in life.  Yes I want more and I will admit that wanting more sometimes causes me to neglect to cherish the here and now.

During my hiatus I had time to really evaluate and found that I was not a very good steward of the things I am blessed with.¬† I found myself always focusing and praying for more but never really taking the time like I should¬†to thank God for the here and now with the exception of my family and health.¬† I never took the time to be appreciative of the fact that during this tough time I have a job that I am able to go to everyday.¬† In fact whether it’s my dream job or not¬† I should still ¬†smile¬†when I go there¬†because that is a blessing.¬† I have a car that is reliable and gets me anywhere I need to go.¬† But rather than being thankful that I do not have a car payment, I am lured by all the new gizmos and gadgets on the newer models.¬† So I neglect to keep my exterior washed and may go 100 or 200 miles over my normal oil change/maintenance.¬† Again not a good steward.
I had to sit and have a long conversation with God to get to the bottom of this and the answer was very simple and crystal clear.  In order to be blessed I have to be a good steward over the gifts I have now and also bless others with  my gifts.  Each and everything we have comes from a blessing and it is our duty to share and pass the blessings forward.  This will give God glory.  I had to take the focus off of me and what I thought I needed, and in turn manage what I have to the best of my ability to help others and in turn glorify God.

 

The Return October 17, 2012

Filed under: Self Centered — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 10:34 am
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It has been a LONG time since I last posted.  Such is life.  These past few months have been very busy so I took a little hiatus from my writing.  During my time away life happened fast and furiously.  They were the best and worst of times, a myriad of emotions and maturity.  I had the opportunity to welcome new members into the family, care for recovering loved ones, and the emotional pain of saying goodbye to dearly departed loved ones.  Through it all, I was able to process each and every moment and take a lesson from it to apply to my everyday living.  I took that time to reflect, inspect, and learn so much about me and the relationships I have cultivated.  I am refreshed, renewed, and exhilarated.

Here we go!

 

Forgive and Forget?? May 16, 2012

We often hear the phrase “forgive and forget”.¬†¬† This got me wondering how many of us truly do this?¬† How many truly forget a painful and awful act caused by a loved one?¬† A lot of times we are able to forgive someone of their actions because after all we are only human right.¬† I just wonder how many of us truly forget the painful act.¬† Can we forgive someone without forgetting? Or is that not really forgiving if we keep the memory of the hurt etched in our minds?¬† This got me to thinking of myself.¬† For a long time I thought I had forgiven this one individual for hurting me emotionally and not acknowledging their actions.¬†¬†I confronted this person about how I was feeling, and they gave a haphazard apology.¬† I¬†let them know that I felt the apology was not sincere, but¬†I would accept it.¬† I thought that was it.¬† I should have been immediately cured of my emotional pain right?¬† Boy was I DEAD wrong!!¬† Even though I forgave the individual,¬†every time I heard their name¬†my skin would crawl.¬† My mind would immediately take me back to the pain this person caused me.

Then one day I had an epiphany and asked myself what good does it do me to hang on to a memory that causes me to become upset?¬† After all I am sure the person who offended me had moved on.¬† I claimed I had by forgiving, but why was I still kept in bondage by holding on to ¬†the memory?¬† This was tough for me to grasp.¬† I mean let’s face it, I allowed another individual¬† power over me.¬† It is funny now that I think about it because I was walking around holding on to memories and I was¬†far from a memory in their mind.¬† How did I let myself get so caught up in the offense that¬†it allowed me to remain stagnant?¬† After¬†all I HAD forgiven them right?¬† Wrong!!¬† To me a part of forgiving is also¬†allowing yourself to let the memory of the offense fade into the distance.¬† It is working for me so far, however notice I said fade.¬†¬†Which means the actions are still in the back of my mind reminding me of how far I can go with¬†and what to expect from that individual.¬† It is truly a process, but each day is better than the day before.

I am curious to know your thoughts on whether it is realistic to forgive and forget???

 

Mother’s Day May 11, 2012

Filed under: Self Centered — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 10:12 am
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“Happy Mother’s Day” means more Than have a happy day. Within those words lie lots of things We never get to say.

It means I love you first of all, Then thanks for all you do. It means you mean a lot to me, And that I honor you.

But most of all, I guess it means That I am thinking of Your happiness on this, your day, With pleasure and with love.

Wishing all the mothers and soon to be mother’s a very Happy Mother’s Day!