phapulous

Living life being phapulously me!!

Are you toxic? January 24, 2013

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 6:40 pm
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For the past few weeks or so I have been doing a study on toxic thoughts.  This  study is teaching me how we have to power to control what we chose to focus on.  Often it’s easy to find your thoughts centered around the unknown.  Our thoughts matter so much, and I am not sure we even realize the magnitude of what they can unfold in our lives.  When people say “it’s the thought that counts”  it is really a true statement because what you think oftentimes determines your outcome. 

 This is something I struggled and sometimes presently struggle with.  I have really taken to heart this study and am putting the suggested practices in place.  Or so I thought, until a very familiar situation presented itself to me and I found myself at a crossroad. My first thought was to be fearful and give into the toxic or negative thoughts. It made me realize how easy it is to jump back into old habits no matter how hard we try to move forward.  I was paralyzed for a moment getting ready to think the worst.  I had to pause, take a breath, and say a prayer to remind myself that even though it is so easy to contaminate my mind with toxic thoughts I will CHOOSE to think positively and believe the best result will occur. 

I had to ask myself what was I really afraid of?  I took a few minutes to take inventory of all the crazy madness that was going through my mind.  I wrote them down, and for each negative I wrote a scriptually based solution.  This made me feel  better about what I am facing.  It reminded me that no matter the situation, I will find contentment in the outcome.  I am still in the process of facing the unknown but felt compelled to share this. I will eventually share the full story about the situation because I know it can help someone. Just not ready yet.

Until the next time believing in the power of positive thoughts.   Focusing on these words “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”

 

 

 

New Years Resolution…oh never mind January 3, 2013

Every year since I can remember the new year would come with me setting high and lofty resolutions. This year I will lose 20 pounds, I will not eat out, I will work out 6 days a week, watch less tv, and I will blah, blah, blah. Don’t get me wrong resolutions like goals are great when you set them realistically. The challenge I faced was setting unrealistic goals. By setting those goals, I would then get discouraged when I could not meet them. Instead of re-evaluating I would get frustrated and just quit altogether. Well this year is different 🙂 I know you are thinking we have heard this before.

My personal goals are very simple and attainable.

1. Everyday chose to do something that increases my overall health and life.
2. Make a list of things I want to try and do one thing a month.
3. Be realistic with expectations
4. Take at least 1 hour a day to do something I like
5. Share and spread Love everywhere I go
6. Keep it simple

Very simple and things I am sure I can keep. If not, I will repeat number 3. 😉

 

Friendship May 20, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 7:40 pm
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I came across this poem that perfectly sums up my friendships and thought I would share.  Hope you enjoy! 🙂

 

A friend is like a flower, a rose to be exact, Or maybe like a brand new gate that never comes unlatched.

A friend is like an owl, both beautiful and wise.

Or perhaps a friend is like a ghost, whose spirit never dies.

 A friend is like a heart that goes strong until the end.

 Where would we be in this world if we didn’t have a friend. – By Adrianne S

 

Forgive and Forget?? May 16, 2012

We often hear the phrase “forgive and forget”.   This got me wondering how many of us truly do this?  How many truly forget a painful and awful act caused by a loved one?  A lot of times we are able to forgive someone of their actions because after all we are only human right.  I just wonder how many of us truly forget the painful act.  Can we forgive someone without forgetting? Or is that not really forgiving if we keep the memory of the hurt etched in our minds?  This got me to thinking of myself.  For a long time I thought I had forgiven this one individual for hurting me emotionally and not acknowledging their actions.  I confronted this person about how I was feeling, and they gave a haphazard apology.  I let them know that I felt the apology was not sincere, but I would accept it.  I thought that was it.  I should have been immediately cured of my emotional pain right?  Boy was I DEAD wrong!!  Even though I forgave the individual, every time I heard their name my skin would crawl.  My mind would immediately take me back to the pain this person caused me.

Then one day I had an epiphany and asked myself what good does it do me to hang on to a memory that causes me to become upset?  After all I am sure the person who offended me had moved on.  I claimed I had by forgiving, but why was I still kept in bondage by holding on to  the memory?  This was tough for me to grasp.  I mean let’s face it, I allowed another individual  power over me.  It is funny now that I think about it because I was walking around holding on to memories and I was far from a memory in their mind.  How did I let myself get so caught up in the offense that it allowed me to remain stagnant?  After all I HAD forgiven them right?  Wrong!!  To me a part of forgiving is also allowing yourself to let the memory of the offense fade into the distance.  It is working for me so far, however notice I said fade.  Which means the actions are still in the back of my mind reminding me of how far I can go with and what to expect from that individual.  It is truly a process, but each day is better than the day before.

I am curious to know your thoughts on whether it is realistic to forgive and forget???

 

Happiness May 7, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 9:58 pm
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Happiness

Like the birds sing a sweet song.

 Like the rivers strum a lovely tune.

 Like the stars serenade the moon.

Like flowers look so pretty in June.

Like water makes violets grow.

Like winter brings flaky snow.

 This true and no jest. Love is the blueprint for happiness.

by Lamar Cole

 

Buyers Remorse? April 30, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 9:43 am
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You know the feeling you get after you made a splurge of a purchase.  You feel knots in your stomach and anxiety all over for doing something you know you should not have.  But you just had to have it.  You know what I’m talking about, that new Chanel bag or that new tech gadget.  Of course it was not a necessity, but something inside you just had to have it.  The rational side of you told yourself to run, not walk away as fast as you can.  However the impulsive side of you keeps you circling that prized possession you have to conquer.  You have an internal debate and impulse wins over and you make the purchase for this thing you absolutely do not need.  On the drive home it sinks in-buyers remorse.  You feel bad about being so impulsive and irresponsible.  You chastise yourself and promise to return the thing first thing tomorrow.

This got me to thinking if buyer’s remorse applied to more than purchases of the local fads.  Do we make impulsive decisions that impact us forever.  Do we impulsively jump into a relationship just to be in one, even though that little voice inside is saying slow down?  Only to find out a few weeks or months later that this person was not really what you expected.  The same can be applied to our professional lives.  Do you rush to take a job for the money even though deep inside you know it will not be fulfilling?  You then feel trapped or stuck because the big bucks you make have caused you to be more impulsive in purchasing things.  So you have to remain trapped to nurture your impulsive habits.

I have reflected over some of the decisions that I have made in my life.  I can honestly say the majority of the “good” outcomes came from well thought out decisions.  Most of my impulsive choices resulted in disastrous results.  Those disastrous results came with very valuable lessons that I have kept and applied to my life.  However as I get older and hopefully wiser, I am learning to keep a tight reign on the impulsive tug inside me.  But sometimes I wonder if the reign is so tight that I am becoming dull and boring.  Can you still be fun and rational?

 

Choices April 22, 2012

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 4:04 pm
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Today is a day of bleh…I am feeling all kinds of things and this poem by the great Nikki Giovvani sums my mood up perfectly.

CHOICES

If i can’t do what i want to do then my job is to not do what i don’t want to do

It’s not the same thing but it’s the best i can do

If i can’t have what i want . . . then my job is to want what i’ve got and be satisfied that at least there is something more to want

Since i can’t go where i need to go . . . then i must . . . go
where the signs point through always understanding parallel movement
isn’t lateral

When i can’t express what i really feel i practice feeling
what i can express and none of it is equal

I know but that’s why mankind alone among the animals learns to cry

Written by Nikki Giovanni