phapulous

Living life being phapulously me!!

Are you toxic? January 24, 2013

Filed under: Food For Thought — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 6:40 pm
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For the past few weeks or so I have been doing a study on toxic thoughts.  This  study is teaching me how we have to power to control what we chose to focus on.  Often it’s easy to find your thoughts centered around the unknown.  Our thoughts matter so much, and I am not sure we even realize the magnitude of what they can unfold in our lives.  When people say “it’s the thought that counts”  it is really a true statement because what you think oftentimes determines your outcome. 

 This is something I struggled and sometimes presently struggle with.  I have really taken to heart this study and am putting the suggested practices in place.  Or so I thought, until a very familiar situation presented itself to me and I found myself at a crossroad. My first thought was to be fearful and give into the toxic or negative thoughts. It made me realize how easy it is to jump back into old habits no matter how hard we try to move forward.  I was paralyzed for a moment getting ready to think the worst.  I had to pause, take a breath, and say a prayer to remind myself that even though it is so easy to contaminate my mind with toxic thoughts I will CHOOSE to think positively and believe the best result will occur. 

I had to ask myself what was I really afraid of?  I took a few minutes to take inventory of all the crazy madness that was going through my mind.  I wrote them down, and for each negative I wrote a scriptually based solution.  This made me feel  better about what I am facing.  It reminded me that no matter the situation, I will find contentment in the outcome.  I am still in the process of facing the unknown but felt compelled to share this. I will eventually share the full story about the situation because I know it can help someone. Just not ready yet.

Until the next time believing in the power of positive thoughts.   Focusing on these words “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”

 

 

 

feelings January 14, 2013

Filed under: Self Centered — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 1:18 pm
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I just had to release these feelings and emotions and the best way I can think of is to write them down. Life happens and if we are not careful we will find ourselves watching instead of living. We are faced with many challenges and victories as we march along in our life path. Friends come and go, familes grow and shrink, jobs come and go. Love and loss is inevitable.

My heart is very heavy as I grieve for a friend that suddenly lost her mother unexpectedly. Grief is one thing that we all will experience at some point in our life. We all process and handle it differently. What do you say? How can you console someone in tremedous pain? The natural thing is to try to relate to their pain by remembering a loss you experienced. This is human nature. We like to identify with the emotions of others in order to better relate. What I have learned that during times of sympathy of dear friends loved one, the best thing I can do is just be there. Be there to listen, hold a hand, wash a dish, cook a meal, say a prayer, or silently stand with that person so they know that they are not alone.

 

Thank you, I think?? January 12, 2013

Have you ever been on the receiving end of what is supposed to be a compliment, but was actually a dressed up insult? Well I think I was on the receiving end of something similar the other day. I received a compliement on a pair of shoes I was wearing. I graciously thanked the person and their reply left me scratching my head. Here is the play by play.

Coworker: Love those shoes! Very cute.
Me: Thanks, they were a gift from the honey.
Coworker: Oh girl I’m so glad he stepped up your style because I was tired of seeing you dress like an old lady
Me: Um, thanks?? I happen to think I have style.
Coworker: Oh I’m sure but it just seems your style has stepped up since you met your honey. You don’t dress so conservative
Me: (Blank stare) I happen to love my style and I think it’s classic with a mix of eclectic. I just keep it simple at work.
Coworker: You would think that, but he has totally stepped up your game
Me: Thanks (walks off scratching my head thinking what just happened)

As I walked away I was thinking how my opinion of style and her opinion of my style were vastly different. I began to think what other areas of my life did I have an opinion that was vastly different from others. Normally I would obsess about what or how I could change my coworker’s mind, but I stopped. In that brief moment I was about to let someone’s opinion question how I viewed myself. I took a minute and did a quick inventory of me, confirmed that I loved everything about me and decided her opinion is just that her opinion.

Lesson of the day: Do not base the type of person you are off the opinions of others. Be happy with who, what and where you are in life. Do things you love, dress how you feel, and act how you please. Life is too short to spend it accommodating people you will never be able to please.

 

New Years Resolution…oh never mind January 3, 2013

Every year since I can remember the new year would come with me setting high and lofty resolutions. This year I will lose 20 pounds, I will not eat out, I will work out 6 days a week, watch less tv, and I will blah, blah, blah. Don’t get me wrong resolutions like goals are great when you set them realistically. The challenge I faced was setting unrealistic goals. By setting those goals, I would then get discouraged when I could not meet them. Instead of re-evaluating I would get frustrated and just quit altogether. Well this year is different 🙂 I know you are thinking we have heard this before.

My personal goals are very simple and attainable.

1. Everyday chose to do something that increases my overall health and life.
2. Make a list of things I want to try and do one thing a month.
3. Be realistic with expectations
4. Take at least 1 hour a day to do something I like
5. Share and spread Love everywhere I go
6. Keep it simple

Very simple and things I am sure I can keep. If not, I will repeat number 3. 😉

 

The beauty of reflection December 31, 2012

Filed under: Inspire Me — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 10:31 pm
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As we close out 2012, I took a moment to reflect on my  2012.  I can say that this year has been very much a rollercoaster of emotions.  I have experienced great joy and tremendous pain.  Both personal loss and personal gain. Some relationships blossomed while others were strained.  Despite it my love for family and the goodness in people remains. My perserverance was battle tested and sometimes wounded to the point of surrender.  However everytime I was ready to waive the right flag the right person, place, or thing would appear and assure me that I would make it through.  I have had the opportunity to learn a lot about myself. What my emotions are during my high times as well as low times.   I have learned who my inner circle consists of and I am okay with that.  I understand that just because you are a friend to some does not mean they are a friend back- and that was okay.  I understood where they were and chose to either meet them on their level or I left them alone.  I have learned to show more empathy without letting that blind me from the true person.  Overall I am very thankful for the growth and the tests.  Without them I would not have a story or testimony to share with others.  Be safe out there tonight and bring in 2013 with love, peace, and joy in you hearts!!

 

Good Steward October 21, 2012

I have done a lot of thinking about life and how in life we always seek and want more.  We search and work ourselves to near exhausting in pursuit of the next best thing we have to get.  Whether it’s your dream job, car, or house, it seems our mindset is always on more.  Don’t get me wrong there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting more.  However in that pursuit of more, do we take the time to appreciate what we have in our current state.  This got me to thinking of what it means to be a good steward.  All my life I was taught to take care and cherish what you have no matter how big or small because it was all a gift from God.  This included anything from the food we ate to the bus driver that used to take us to school.
Fast forward 20 years and sad to say that teaching is still with me but not exercised as much as it should.  There are many things I want for myself in life.  Yes I want more and I will admit that wanting more sometimes causes me to neglect to cherish the here and now.

During my hiatus I had time to really evaluate and found that I was not a very good steward of the things I am blessed with.  I found myself always focusing and praying for more but never really taking the time like I should to thank God for the here and now with the exception of my family and health.  I never took the time to be appreciative of the fact that during this tough time I have a job that I am able to go to everyday.  In fact whether it’s my dream job or not  I should still  smile when I go there because that is a blessing.  I have a car that is reliable and gets me anywhere I need to go.  But rather than being thankful that I do not have a car payment, I am lured by all the new gizmos and gadgets on the newer models.  So I neglect to keep my exterior washed and may go 100 or 200 miles over my normal oil change/maintenance.  Again not a good steward.
I had to sit and have a long conversation with God to get to the bottom of this and the answer was very simple and crystal clear.  In order to be blessed I have to be a good steward over the gifts I have now and also bless others with  my gifts.  Each and everything we have comes from a blessing and it is our duty to share and pass the blessings forward.  This will give God glory.  I had to take the focus off of me and what I thought I needed, and in turn manage what I have to the best of my ability to help others and in turn glorify God.

 

The Return October 17, 2012

Filed under: Self Centered — p.h.a.p.ulous @ 10:34 am
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It has been a LONG time since I last posted.  Such is life.  These past few months have been very busy so I took a little hiatus from my writing.  During my time away life happened fast and furiously.  They were the best and worst of times, a myriad of emotions and maturity.  I had the opportunity to welcome new members into the family, care for recovering loved ones, and the emotional pain of saying goodbye to dearly departed loved ones.  Through it all, I was able to process each and every moment and take a lesson from it to apply to my everyday living.  I took that time to reflect, inspect, and learn so much about me and the relationships I have cultivated.  I am refreshed, renewed, and exhilarated.

Here we go!